September 21, 2001TREADING WATER...
It's been a week and three days since Black Tuesday, and like many of us, I'm trying to come to grips with the emotions raging through us all. Right now I feel like I'm treading water... not safely on firm ground yet, but not gasping for breath any more either.
Was even able to finish a model during this time. Was pretty grateful for the diversion away from MSNBC and CNN as much as I could pull myself away lately. I was also happy that it wasn't a difficult kit! In the mood I was in, if I was battling with dry-brushing or trying to achieve a slightly difficult paint scheme, and it didn't work out well, I more than likely would have thrown the thing against the nearest wall, then commence stomping the dog-shit out of the bloody thing.
But luckily for my sanity, it was a cartoon based kit, therefore the color scheme was pretty straightforward.
Been reading the various message forums around the hobby, like many have been. I guess it's safe to say that we have a pretty good slice of the American psyche arranged across our modeling community! We've got our Hawks, and our Doves... the 'Let God sort um' out!' types, and the 'flower power' children, and a wide range of opinions somewhere inbetween the two of those!
Some posts have angered me. Some have made me laugh out loud! Some I agree with, either fully or partially, and some I frankly had to shake my head at. But it was a necessary cleansing that had to occur during this time of turmoil, and it should be damn interesting to see how future opinions form as time goes by. (at least ours weren't as bad as RMS!!! Thankfully!!!)
I disagree that they'll be long-term fall out from any of the views expressed so far. Hell, most of the personal opinions we hold toward each other were formed long ago, so nothing really new there! Even if there is some fall out that can be traced back to these recent messages, life will still go on. But I honestly don't believe we're that insecure in other people's feelings towards us that it'll keep us up at night! If it does, you're a sadder puppy than I thought we were!
So, now, everyone's saying we have to '...get back to normal'.
Easier said than done, ain't it?!! Especially since we don't know what the hell 'normal' is right now. I know, between work and home, I haven't been outta the house since last Tuesday. Not that I'm scared to go out... just that I've been glued to the TV set most of the time. It's only now that I'm getting sick of the idiotic news casters trying desperately to find ANY new spin on this story, and failing miserably!! Finally took the wife out to dinner last night, which was a nice diversion!
That and the recent difficulties trying to get on to the Navy Base, nowadays. I understand and applaud the new viligance, but it does wear on emotions that are already frayed. Building's being evacuated on some days, sirens heard at least every other hour, everyday.
I find myself in a funk... and it's hard as hell getting myself outta it. Hobby concerns don't really feel that important at this time, and even the joy I had going down to the Hobby Shop isn't there right now. I know if I swung by there, we'd just sit around and talk about recent events, and man, I really, really don't want to talk about it anymore!
I think the basic problem I'm having is I don't know what to do with myself right now! I haven't the desire or energy to do much, and although I want a break from the news, I find I'm perversely drawn to it, nonetheless. And it's that frustration that's driving me up the proverbial wall!
Unfortunately, the only cure for this funk of mine (and probably many others out there) is time.
And just as unfortunately, we find we're a bunch of impatience fucks!!
Til next week...